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Hi Susan,
Thanks for your post. While we can't comment on children, we can comment on travelling with pets! Pet Friendly is in a unique position where we get to hear from both sides (travellers with pets, as well as the accommodations that allow pets). There are lots of people, like you, who feel that $50/night is too much. There are also many who object to paying ANY fee at all. Then there are people who are frequent travellers and expect to pay a pet fee.
Like you mentioned, there are lots of very responsible pet owners (and the accommodations will tell you this too -- many of them say that visiting pets are extremely well-behaved). But there is also a small group of travellers who don't care, or don't know any better.
Examples of cleaning/damages are: cleaning up of fur (random stray dog hairs are difficult to remove from carpets and furnishings); accidents in the room (hey, sometimes accidents just happen, even to the most responsible dog owner); "freshening" the air (wet dogs in particularly don't smell that great!); excessive barking (which disturbs other guests who may leave, costing the hotel business); and picking up after dogs when the owners don't bother to do it themselves.
Ideally, people would pay for the damages that their pets cause but that's not always true. Even for those that do pay for damages, sometimes it only covers part of the true replacement / repair cost.
Every accommodation sets different fees. Everyone has a point where they feel the pet fees are too expensive. Fortunately more and more accommodations are now allowing pets so there are a fair number to choose from -- if the pet fee (or pet policies) aren't to your liking, you're able to find another place.
Thanks for your comments and happy travels!